I met rambleginger on twitter not too long ago and noticed that she posts writing prompts on her blog as a way to inspire writers who might be a bit stuck while also connecting a community of bloggers/readers by linking back to people who use the prompts and encouraging everyone to check back and read what others have written in the same period. I haven’t ever participated, mostly because I simply haven’t really been writing, but this week I decided to click through and check out just what was in the prompts.
One of them got to me. She asked us, “What’s something you think you’d like to do, but are a little afraid of? Why?” Well, this one is actually a little scary for me to even write about, which probably means that I should, right? Write!*
So I pulled up Day by Day, put it on repeat and started writing. (Okay fine, I only did it after I asked her for encouragement. I’m still doing it!) If you’d like to listen to the song while you read, go ahead and click that play button!
I want to never have to leave my house or wear pants.
That may sound a little bit extreme. That’s because it is. I don’t actually want to never leave, I just don’t want to have to leave to go to the kind of corporate job that I’ve always had.
I want to write. I want to be able to support myself through my fingers applying pressure to keys and shaping an image through words. I want to influence opinion. I want to be able to do this all from a location of my choosing. To be honest, as introverted as I am lately, I don’t think that I would be so much if I didn’t have to deal with coworkers I don’t like, so I’d probably end up going to shared work spaces or spacious coffee shops (the smell of coffee makes me ill) a fair amount, but it would be my choice!
I’m terrified to really look for writing gigs though.
Cognitively, I know that I could handle just about anything that someone asked me to write. That doesn’t mean that I’m confident that I really can do that though. I mean, I never really have.
I have a degree in English** but the past several years of my life I’ve been employed in retail or accounting departments. Don’t bother asking how, it’s boring. Let’s just suffice it to say that yet, I have an English degree but I’m not afraid of numbers. I just don’t want to work with them. Unless they’re word counts. I love word counts. Without them, I tend to write way too much and people get a serious case of the tl;dr (too long; didn’t read).
I’m getting off topic.
My work history causes me to be intimidated to go after writing gigs, even though I know that I will always have to put on pants if I don’t.
I was hesitant to even write about it here because I know the power that can come from sharing your wishes with the universe. Some of it is already happening, I have some of the most supportive friends I could ask for and when they know that I’m looking for something, they start keeping their eyes open. So saying this here and really making it clear can be scary because I know that you guys might just make it happen!
I am sharing it though, because even though it is something that I’m afraid of and I know it would be terrifying to do, I also know that I would be infinitely happier struggling to do something I love instead of struggling while I’m doing something I really don’t like.
I guess this is kind of a call to action for me then. I’m putting it out there, all who see this will now know. I have no reason beyond it being difficult to not follow through. And that’s a pretty lame reason to put on pants.
**Kind of. I’ve completed all the coursework, but I don’t technically have my diploma because I finished my last courses at a community college and haven’t done the paperwork to get the official degree yet.