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dating

I think I need to set the record straight

I posted on Monday about the boy I like being intimidating for really the first time in my life. Thank you so much for your support and the encouraging words that so many of you gave in response to the post. I don’t think that I was clear enough though.

I like that he intimidates me.

It would actually bore me a little bit if he didn’t. I don’t want to sound conceited in this, but whenever I’ve gone on a date with a guy and he’s seemed nervous (more often than not, thankyouverymuch), well I think I might actually understand that feeling a little bit better now.

It’s not that I’m shaking or showing any other external sign of being any more than mildly nervous, but I definitely am more concerned with whether or not this guy is impressed by what I’ve got to say. Concerned isn’t the right word, at least not in the way that most people will read that. Aware is probably better.

I will still talk to this gent on a date without hesitation, I’ll just be doing more nervous hair flipping than flirty. With a little luck, maybe I’ll be able to pass it off as flirty!

But really, this is a good thing folks. It might even be a sign that this guy is worth my time. The others I simply wasn’t impressed enough by (or I’ve known him since I was 11 and therefore it would be silly to be intimidated by him) for it to really last.

I have no idea what’s going to happen with this because I’ve never gone into a situation like this before, but I hope to at least have something to share with y’all along the way!

Intimidation.

I mentioned in a previous post that I’m dating again, and being the super analytical, introspective person that I am, I’ve thought a lot about it and realized something about how my tastes have changed, or maybe it’s my expectations that have evolved, since that big ol’ life altering break up last year.

I really am dating men now.*

What I mean is that I’ve gone from dating boys who have great ideas and plans, to guys who are putting those ideas and plans into action. The Professor was the first in what I hope will become a trend. An as yet unnamed (but I hope he will be featured a bit more) guy definitely has a leg up on The Professor even, who is currently working on his Ph.D. in English.

It’s a whole different ball game to be interacting with guys who are driven. It’s good for me, though it’s also terribly intimidating.

The current mystery guy is way too smart for me and actually like, does things with his life and has things to talk about that I don’t understand. Oh, and he holds baby bears. I really wish I could post that picture for you all. (For the record, there is one picture of him on this blog, posted less than a week ago.)

I’ve dated smart guys before, but never anyone I couldn’t handle, and only one who was ever putting his smarts to use. (Do you read my blog Daren? You don’t fit the mold that I’ve been talking about, you’re the one putting them to use.)

It’s the intimidation that I’m feeling with just the thought of dating this guy that’s made me look back and realize that usually the guys I date have great ideas that they are sitting on. The Ex (as in THE ex) was a huge perpetrator of this offense. He had great ideas. Ideas that I loved, ideas that helped me to fall in love with him. Very few of these did he actually do anything about though. While a part of me hopes that, that changes as he finds relationships that suit him better, there’s a big enough part of me that knows better and isn’t terribly bothered by the fact that he doesn’t put much effort into his life.

I now remember being so frustrated when I knew that he wanted to do things like write, but he never wrote. This is not something that I would like to repeat in the future.

When I’m around guy, and people in general, who are like that, I tend to be like that too. I’ve gotten to know some really awesome and driven people through this wonderful world of the interwebs though, and I totally need to join their ranks.

This intimidating guy (I guess he’s got a temporary name) has an awesome job, and he’s doing things and he talks about stuff that I don’t know about. All of which are things that only make me want to know him more.

I like when I can learn something from the guy I’m with, or even just from friends that I know and I’m really hoping that this guy is willing to take the time to explain some things to me, because right now I’m having a hard time pretending to know about the current stuff he brings up. I’m a little proud of myself that I’ve admitted a bit when he’s talking about things I’m not familiar with, but I hope that I can pick it up quick!

Do you ever experience this? Do you tend to be the smart one in your relationships?

*Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t actually believe that true men exist, but that’s a totally different post.

The Professor or Mr. Hyperbole?

It’s almost 3:30 in the morning. I got off the phone about an hour and a half ago and I haven’t had any caffeine today, but I’m still awake.

Why?

Because I would like to let you know that the date I had tonight was fine, but neither of us is truly interested romantically. Fortunately for both of us we were really honest about it and we both have someone else that seems to have more potential for us.

I never really even got to use his nickname though! That name would be Target Dog, since he, you know, has a Target dog.

I’ve been talking a lot with a guy who is on spring break and out of town. It’s been kind of awesome and I really hope that our first meeting goes as well as our phone conversations. I’ve been having a rough time coming up with a blog name for him, though I actually asked him if he had any recommendations/preferences if I were to ever mention him. Tonight I came up with two!

He can either be The Professor or Mr. Hyperbole. No, he is not one of my professors. Do you really think that I would be posting about it publicly if he was? He is currently studying for his PhD in Literature at a local school though. Awesome, right? The hyperbole comes into play when he likes to talk about everything like it’s the best thing ever in the world. Totes normal, I know.

So, knowing nothing else about this guy, which is a better name to use?

The Professor or Mr. Hyperbole?

Crap, now I have to look cute

Just over two weeks ago (don’t do the calendar math on that, and if you do, definitely don’t tell the ladies of the VDay Revolution what you figure out) I signed up with a dating site. While I will admit that I am a relatively attractive lady, I have been surprised by the amount of attention I’ve received.

While I’ve enjoyed a lot of it, it hasn’t all been awesome. There was one boy in particular who I was really starting to take a likin’ to, perhaps I got kind of stoked when there was an invitation to coffee or drinks. As soon as I responded, saying that drinks sounded great though, he pulled a Houdini! There are also some boys whom I find attractive, and I can see have looked at my profile, but I get a very passive rejection from them when they have obviously checked me out and then don’t message me. (I’m kind of reaching with that example, I know.)

I mention these as evidence that I’m not simply being adored.

I am still getting more attention than I expected, though. I mean, there are some damn pretty women in Sacramento. I happen to know at least two of them who are also on this site (and I’m glad that we have enough difference in taste of guys that we’re not really competing). The rest of the girls out there though, they’ve got to be offering something decent, right? Don’t answer that, I don’t really want to think about it. (I swear I’m not jealous or insecure, really!)

As of Sunday night, I’ve got two dates scheduled for this week. One of these guys I’ve started to get to know a bit and I’m really stoked for the awesome conversation that’s sure to ensue. He actually made a comment with that same idea the other night, which definitely felt nice. If he passes the first date perhaps I’ll tell you about how he’s already doing things at my request! The other one is going to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows with me, though we’ve both mentioned our hesitations to meeting up with people from the site.

You guys, the first time we’re meeting is to see Harry Potter! Is it just me, or is that already a pretty awesome step up from my ex, who after hearing about my dream job (which includes an abundance of Mr. H.P.) repeatedly told me that he believes J.K. Rowling got lucky?

There’s just one little problem with all this attention and the pair of dates this week. I have to look cute y’all! I’m not just talking about my normal being presentable in public kind of cute, I want to impress these potential suitors, so I’m going for kind of adorable, but, you know, HOT!

I’m thinking about testing that idea that wearing red on a first date is supposed to have a positive impact on how the night goes. Though if I do that, my red lipstick will be too much (for my coloring at least).

Do you have any first date practices or tips? I’ve never been much of a dater, I could use them! Also, did I mention my first of the two dates is tonight? Yeah, help!

Please Excuse the Language but…

I’m pretty fucking amazing.

Seriously. It’s taken me much longer than it should have to realize it, but I really am.

This realization comes from a boy seeming to get a little weirded out actually, or maybe I’m just reading things wrong. I have been dating a boy for a couple of weeks, and in that time he’s realized that I pick up on details pretty easily. This is true. If you tell me your birthday, or I see it on Facebook, I will probably remember that it’s the same or similar to someone else that I know, and therefore I will know it sooner and remember it longer than you might expect.

What’s my best friend from elementary school who I haven’t spoken to regularly in 15 years you ask? June 8. Her mother’s? August 7.

I don’t know how, I don’t know why. They don’t always stick, but they do tend to get in there pretty quick.

That same boy doesn’t know this (yet?), but I really like doing things to show my affection. Things like mix CDs or post cards sent by snail mail. I’ve had some people make me feel as though the kind of attention that I can give is not a good thing. Those people are wrong.

Sure, there are people who don’t handle the attention so well, and I probably won’t be super close with them for very long, but that doesn’t make either of us wrong. I do believe that it indicates that I’m going to be a pretty kick-ass mother though.

I’ve blogged before about this awesome party put on by an amazingly talented mother and how blown away I was by it. I’m starting to realize that I have the potential to be just as inspiring.

So, it sucks if I’m reading this boy correctly and he is getting scared off by things like awesome sandwiches that I make and remembering birthdays, but just think of what the one who won’t be scared away will be like! And I could be totally wrong anyway, and he could just be busy. In that case, lucky him!