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Is 5’7″ tiny?

Today at work a woman told me that I’m, “really quite tiny.”

While there have been times that I have felt tiny and times that I have fit into tiny clothes, I can’t say that I have ever considered at woman who is 5’7″ tall to be tiny.

She clarified, saying that when I’m behind the reception desk I have a very commanding presence, but that when I’m standing talking to coworkers by their cubicle, she noticed just how thin I actually am.

Since I happen to be the heaviest I’ve been in about 6 years, I couldn’t help but be flattered, but I still can’t quite get on board with this idea that at 5 feet, 7 inches tall (assuming I’m standing up straight) I am actually tiny.

Though once I get over this plague and can get back to the gym, maybe I’ll get back down to a size that I like and I might just feel tiny then!

And I did it!

I’m sure you’ve gotten sick of me talking about how much I hate my not Barnes & Noble job. I’ve gotten sick of talking about it, to be honest.

That’s why I did something about it yesterday.

I feel kind of bad about the way that I did it, but I need to be looking out for myself first. I was scheduled to work yesterday morning at 9:30, and after seeing the paycheck that I got overnight through direct deposit, I decided that it was simply not worth the constant guilt and frustration. So I started calling every 5 minutes at 9:15 in hopes of getting someone who had gone in early.

At 9:25 the store manager answered and I told her that I was very sorry for not giving notice, but I couldn’t work there anymore.

The final straw was my birthday (now only 8 days away). I forgot to ask for it off, which I was bummed about when I got the schedule and saw that I was scheduled for 2:30-6:30 with an extension to 7:30. I asked the girl who was scheduled to open that day if she would switch with me so I could have more of the day free (I mean, mids kind of ruin the whole day, you know?) and she agreed.

The manager wasn’t in that day to get it approved, so I went in the next day (Wednesday) to have her sign off on it. Explaining the issue of my birthday, I let her know the situation. She agreed, but also gave me some huge attitude and said, “You know we’re not really doing switches anymore.”

The fact that I was willing to work on my birthday, I just needed a different shift seemed relatively generous to me. I now will have lots of time to work on the C25K and getting the basement cleaned out of things that I don’t need.

While I will totally admit that this wasn’t the smartest decision financially, I think that it was the best decision for me over all, and I look forward to making more like this from now on!

I need to quit my job

I believe that I have posted here before about not liking one of my two current jobs. It’s so much more than not liking it though.

I really hate it.

There has been a lack of communication from the beginning, which has recently come to light again through me finding out only after working there for a month that over-night floor set changes are required once a month. I believe that something like that should have been brought up in an interview so that if it was a breaking point on a job (as it kind of is for me during school) the applicant could decide not to waste the company’s time with training.

I don’t get many hours there to begin with, and the hours that I am there, I enjoy only because I am proud that I am pushing through and being responsible. I have to admit that I do love that feeling, but I don’t think that it’s benefiting me enough financially to keep getting that feeling with this job. I could instead use the time to clear out the basement of some end tables and desks that I no longer want. By getting off my ass while I’m at home and selling those, I have no doubt that I could make more while staying home for the 8 or so hours that they give me weekly.

Heck, I could probably make what I make in 8 hours there, in only a couple of hours of work selling the things in the basement that I don’t want.

I’m also really happy to report that once I’m gone I will no longer be pressured into buying clothes that I cannot afford. While I would love to buy some of their stuff because I really do love some of the pieces, I simply don’t have the money, and that should be enough to get them to stop pushing me.

It’s apparently no where near enough though. The typical response when I mention not being able to afford it is a suggestion that I open a store credit card. That way I can get some new work clothes and the store can get credit for someone opening another card. I flat out say no to that because I don’t believe that I will be approved, and I know that being declined for a new card is not good for your credit.

For a job that I don’t have anything good to say about, I have no idea why I am still working there. I’ve decided that the next time that I work with my manager I am going to tell her that I will work the rest of my scheduled shifts, and that is all. Heck, I might even let anyone who wants my hours take them so I can get more hours in at Barnes & Noble.

I’m doing really well there, and look forward to my shifts at the Nook desk, even though technically while I’m there what I’m doing is selling, just like that aspect that I hate about the other job. What’s the difference? I’m selling something that people actually want, and that won’t screw up their credit if they don’t stay on top of it! Actually, even if all that they are reading is trash, the fact that it’s still reading means that it is better for them than watching the equivalent TV show!

So I will soon return to the land of only one job, and I believe that everyone will be better for it! Come visit me at Barnes & Noble some time!

What’s in a name?

I used to have some very serious opinions about what I wanted to be called. Mostly that involved me getting as far away from my full given first name of Katherine and sticking to Kati. (No, that’s not a typo, in 6th grade I asserted some independence by changing the way that I spelled my commonly used name, I’m such a bad-ass!) Until just a few years ago, going by anything other than Kati was totally not okay by me. The change and slight acceptance of Katherine happened about the same time that I noticed just how popular the name Katie had become for parents to use just a few years after I was born.

Since I’ve always looked young, and I was now trying to be more professional for desk jobs and such, I figured that embracing Katherine could be a way to separate myself from this mass of girls and maybe making me seem more sophisticated? I don’t think that it necessarily worked from an outside perspective, but I do think that it got me acting more professional because for a long time I was used to only hearing Katherine when I was in trouble or when my second grandmother (as in not technically my grandmother) was around because we shared a name and it was the first time it seemed like a cool name. (Wow, that was a long way to not even really say that when she was around I would try to act more grown up to impress her.) I guess I didn’t really have to seem more polished with the use of the name, I actually was that way, which I guess is nice. The facade would have faded.

I’ve been Katherine at work almost everywhere that I have worked for about 7 years now, starting with the oh-so-sophisticated Virgin Megastore. Working at Barnes & Noble though, I have been Kati so far because the lovely Megan who recommended me knows me only as such (or maybe better as “Kati with no e”) and has for the past 5 years. There’s a slight problem with that though. There’s already a Kaity there. Again, no typo. It’s short for Kaitland. I’m not going to comment further on that.

I’m sure you’re now thinking that Megan should just get over it and start calling me Katherine, but the reason that I didn’t just start there as Katherine is the previous Store Manager. She was on a leave of absence when I started and officially left just a couple weeks ago. I guess she wasn’t the most popular person in the store, and there are a few people who have mentioned that they don’t want to associate me with that name because of it.

I personally think that we should just change the thinking of Katherine because it’s getting complicated to have two Kati/Kaity employees.

It’s such a big deal though, that I was somewhat accosted in the break room yesterday after my shift was over. I believe there were six or seven people in the room besides me all trying to figure out what to call me. All of these people were female, though there are some guys who work in the store who do care about the issue. The guys just seem to call me Katherine if they know that I’m okay with it and that’s that.

After 3-4 minutes of things like “Kitty” or just my last name being used (and then adding a cutesy nickname to it) as suggestions, they realized that Megan was the only thing standing between us and the simplicity of calling me Katherine in the store.

I’m not completely sure, but I think that I’m now Katherine at work.

Sorry Megan.

Wow, how could I have not included this!? One of the things that’s awesome about going by Katherine now, is finding more of them! Like my awesome name doppelganger in Seattle, and this awesome book by an awesome author!

Unexpected

One thing that I never expected from working at a clothing store was more self esteem. Well, I should probably explain more there. The act of learning a new skill and starting on the way to financial stability is great for self esteem, but I work with some really gorgeous women and often our customers look amazing in the clothes because they are pretty much designed for our typical customer. So what I really didn’t expect was to feel really awesome about my body and the way that I look from working at a clothing store.

That’s just what’s happening though, and I love it.

The other day I was working when it was a little bit slow, so we had go backs in the fitting rooms, but not so many people at the registers. This means that I was in and out of the fitting rooms a bunch, and going by mirrors pretty often.

I was very happy to truly see that I’m much thinner than my mental image of the pudgy girl I was in high school. It’s very easy to still see myself as the size 12 that I was in high school, it’s not so easy to remember that my size 6 jeans are starting to feel a little big.

When I walk into the fitting room area though and see the mirror at the end of the way, it’s hard to see anything other than how tiny my waist is now. And yet… I still have my awesome hips!

Dancing at the Rice wedding. (I'm on the right.)

Oh man I love my hips. I know that they’re the only thing keeping me back from a size 4 at the moment, and the possibility of ever being a 2, but that’s really okay, because those hips are awesome.

They are actually one of the only problems that I have with fitting into some pants and dresses that are designed to make someone look more curvy than they are. I don’t need to look more curvy. I have perfect curves, I just want clothes that will show how I look already!

Anyway, I think this rant is getting a little off topic. I’m very happy with the new appreciation for my own body that working at a clothing store is giving me and I look forward to keeping myself in that same mentality.